Total Eclipse of the Sun - mAARtell | Temporarily cancelled

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Total Eclipse of the Sun - mAARtell | Temporarily cancelled

PostPosted by IamGreen » Tue Mar 21, 2017 01:00

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I need to cancel this AAR for now. I'm busy with life. Hopefully I'll get back to it soon.

Table of Contents
Act I : Reign of Trystane I
CHAPTER I - UNBOWED, UNBENT, UNBROKEN
CHAPTER II - A DEATH IN THE FAMILY https://citadel.prophpbb.com/post107372.html#p107372


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This is Pirate Lord Trystane. The banished Prince of Dorne.
He once was a revered knight, that all boys aspired to be, but that past is just a faded memory. Now he is a notorious pirate lord.


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This is his son. Ryon Sand.
Trystane was banished by his mother over a dispute about the bastard boy he sired with the beautiful Dayne girl, Alysanne, who was betrothed to Lord Gerold Dayne of Starfall. Born in High Hermitage to the betrothed Alysanne Dayne. After his birth, he was brought to Sandstone, but Trystane’s mother would not have them. Angry that he would risk war with Lord Gerold Dayne, she ordered them exiled from Dorne. Trystane’s elder brother and best friend, Anders Martell, convinced their mother to let Ryon stay in Sandstone and be raised by himself, a genius in his own right, but also quite skilled with a sword. Ryon Sand is quick-witted and energetic, showing great aptitude with a sword, but also with words.
Ryon was named for Trystane’s grandfather,, Prince Ryon.


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This is Trystane’s beloved brother, Prince Anders. The guardian of Ryon Sand.


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For the last decade Trystane has been pillaging the coastlines of Westeros and Essos. Taking women and treasure all the same. He has built a rather impressive fleet, with over 1,000 bloodthirsty savages.


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This is Trystane’s council. His advisors. His true enemies.

His quartermaster, Beqqo, a manipulative man that isn’t good at following orders.
His emissary, Luco, has high ambitions for his own family.
His boatswain, Mero, is an envious, prideful man.
Vogarro, his paymaster, is a decent man. He believes in justice.
Sango is a secretive man. Always waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
Maester Leon is good. He has an iron maester chain signifying his expertise in warcraft.
And his priest, perhaps the only truly godly man on Trystane’s council.


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If Trystane is to build a castle worthy of a prince, he needs lots of gold flowing in, so he focuses on the business aspect of life.


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These are Trystane’s raiders. Feared by many. Warmongering savages. They lust for blood. They are sailing south to the Summer Sea.


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Trystane landed on one of the small string of islands of the Singing Stones, one of Prince Anyim Luxho of the Three Exiles’ vassal provinces.
Not long after landing he took his men to the nearest settlement, one called Singstone.


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It wasn’t long before they finally succumbed to the Prince’s force.
Trystane took many hostages. Ransoming many of them back to their families for a total of 60 gold, not including the nearly 40 gold he got from looting.
It was time for Trystane to return to Sunstone.

END OF CHAPTER I

=====================

Submods used in this AAR:

Better Readable Font Mod - NarzissOne
BlueDuke - supersulo
Declare Friends and Rivals - kadet4
Plot Assassinate Your Children - kadet4
Readable Boat Loot Bar - Justice
Right-click to Interact Remover - Savv
Remove Ambient Noise - Stevoni
Sketchy Cheat Menu - Sketchy (used for fixing dumb AI things)
Flamequeen's Ultimate Building Submod - Flamequeen
The seed is strong.... - Mayonez_kun (changed the Strong Seed trait icon)
Realistic Battles Updated - stanners58 & Mistefar
A Wight's Nickname Mod - AWildWightAppeared!
Dynamic COA submod - hero99
AGOT More Fleets - Tebix
An edited More Decisions - blackninja9939
More Bookmarks - blackninja9939
Bloodlines - blackninja9939
Challenge to Duel - blackninja9939
Giant Change - SinStar87 (I use it for the Duelist = Trained Fighter part)
Best Friends Forever? - SinStar87
Claim Baronies - SinStar87
Join All the Wars - SinStar87
Dragonize Ruinize and Colonize Castles - SinStar87
Buildings of King's Landing - SinStar87
Rainbow Weddings - SinStar87
Sin’s Kinslayer Criminals - SinStar87
Start Blood Feud - SinStar87
Wolflings - SinStar87
Prisoner’s Claim - SinStar87
Sin's Young Love - SinStar87
Visit Brothel - SinStar87 (goes with Flamequeen's Building mod)
Sin's Siege Prisoners - SinStar87
Sinful Swords for A Game of Thrones - LancelotLoire, ripped by SinStar87
An edited version of the wonderful mod, Visit Chambers - SinStar87, edited by myself
Hair graphics from Congenital Overhaul, merged with the newest version of 'The seed is strong....' mod - LancelotLoire, Mayonez_kun
Army Leader - myself
Abstinence - myself
A quick maintenance event I made to stop everybody from getting Lunatic and Gonorrhea, also implemented GoTfanboy's gay marriage fix - myself
An edited defines.lua to lower the age of marriage to 12 for females, and 13 for males (goes well with Sin's Young Love), and the ages the portraits change to be what I deemed more realistic. Allows for up to 2 more wards - myself

Played on A Game of Thrones 1.3.2 for Crusader Kings II 2.6.3 with all DLC except Sunset Invasion
Last edited by IamGreen on Fri Mar 24, 2017 23:26, edited 21 times in total.
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Re: Black Hole Sun - mAARtell

PostPosted by JDSweet » Tue Mar 21, 2017 04:52

Good start, keep it up. A very unique start that could lead to very unique scenarios. Quick question: What date/bookmark did you start on? Also I would suggest changing the name - "Black Hole Sun" sounds a little awkward to me. Perhaps "Darkened Sun", "Black Sun of the Martells", "Black Martells", or "the Black Star" would be better? Your choice. Again, keep it up, too many AARs with potential die waaayyyy too early.
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Re: Black Hole Sun - mAARtell

PostPosted by IamGreen » Tue Mar 21, 2017 05:56

JDSweet wrote:Good start, keep it up. A very unique start that could lead to very unique scenarios. Quick question: What date/bookmark did you start on? Also I would suggest changing the name - "Black Hole Sun" sounds a little awkward to me. Perhaps "Darkened Sun", "Black Sun of the Martells", "Black Martells", or "the Black Star" would be better? Your choice. Again, keep it up, too many AARs with potential die waaayyyy too early.

Thanks for the feedback! I'm stuck on what to rename it now. I'm trying to come up with something that sounds "different". I don't want to just call it by the Martell words, but I'm not sure what.
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Re: Black Hole Sun - mAARtell

PostPosted by JDSweet » Tue Mar 21, 2017 06:05

IamGreen wrote:
JDSweet wrote:Good start, keep it up. A very unique start that could lead to very unique scenarios. Quick question: What date/bookmark did you start on? Also I would suggest changing the name - "Black Hole Sun" sounds a little awkward to me. Perhaps "Darkened Sun", "Black Sun of the Martells", "Black Martells", or "the Black Star" would be better? Your choice. Again, keep it up, too many AARs with potential die waaayyyy too early.

Thanks for the feedback! I'm stuck on what to rename it now. I'm trying to come up with something that sounds "different". I don't want to just call it by the Martell words, but I'm not sure what.


This is probably a stupid idea, in which case don't listen to me, but "Eclipse" or "Eclipsed Sun" sounds good to me. Or "Snake of the Sea," or something badass like that. "Heart of a Darkened Sun" might be okay as well. "A Sun Tainted", "Lost Children of the Rhoyne". Again, just ideas. Pick whatever fits best, I guess :-)
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Re: Black Hole Sun - mAARtell

PostPosted by IamGreen » Tue Mar 21, 2017 06:15

JDSweet wrote:
IamGreen wrote:
JDSweet wrote:Good start, keep it up. A very unique start that could lead to very unique scenarios. Quick question: What date/bookmark did you start on? Also I would suggest changing the name - "Black Hole Sun" sounds a little awkward to me. Perhaps "Darkened Sun", "Black Sun of the Martells", "Black Martells", or "the Black Star" would be better? Your choice. Again, keep it up, too many AARs with potential die waaayyyy too early.

Thanks for the feedback! I'm stuck on what to rename it now. I'm trying to come up with something that sounds "different". I don't want to just call it by the Martell words, but I'm not sure what.


This is probably a stupid idea, in which case don't listen to me, but "Eclipse" or "Eclipsed Sun" sounds good to me. Or "Snake of the Sea," or something badass like that. "Heart of a Darkened Sun" might be okay as well. "A Sun Tainted", "Lost Children of the Rhoyne". Again, just ideas. Pick whatever fits best, I guess :-)

I actually really like those. Not sure which one I like the best. I'm really liking "A Sun Tainted", "Eclipsed Sun", and "Lost Children of the Rhoyne", though I'm not in the Rhoyne, so that last one may not work. I might even make my own Valyrian steel sword to put in the game called Eclipse ;) We'll see. I think I'll do something with an eclipse. Thanks!

Also, to answer your question about the bookmark, I used blackninja's More Bookmarks mod and started in 1AC with the Crowned Dragon start. Would have gone with the Bleeding Years, but I wanted the Iron Throne around.
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Re: Total Eclipse of the Sun - mAARtell

PostPosted by AWildWightAppeared! » Tue Mar 21, 2017 09:51

Hey, this is pretty good. I like the format and the way you tell the story, even if it's only chapter one.
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Re: Total Eclipse of the Sun - mAARtell

PostPosted by kaxa80 » Tue Mar 21, 2017 15:12

Seems like a pretty interesting initial setup with a lot of roleplaying potential, keep it up! Not too many active AAR's nowadays.

P.S. Also i was wondering is it possible for you somehow share that submodpack of yours, seems like a pretty neet collection :) ?
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Re: Total Eclipse of the Sun - mAARtell

PostPosted by IamGreen » Tue Mar 21, 2017 16:00

AWildWightAppeared! wrote:Hey, this is pretty good. I like the format and the way you tell the story, even if it's only chapter one.

Thanks. Glad you're liking it!
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Re: Total Eclipse of the Sun - mAARtell

PostPosted by JDSweet » Tue Mar 21, 2017 16:09

You have inspired me to finally start my own AAR. Check it out if you want to True Dragons: A Song of Fire and Blood (https://citadel.prophpbb.com/post107345.html#p107345).
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Re: Total Eclipse of the Sun - mAARtell

PostPosted by IamGreen » Tue Mar 21, 2017 16:31

kaxa80 wrote:Seems like a pretty interesting initial setup with a lot of roleplaying potential, keep it up! Not too many active AAR's nowadays.

P.S. Also i was wondering is it possible for you somehow share that submodpack of yours, seems like a pretty neet collection :) ?

Thanks! Glad you like it.

About the submods, I don't want to anger a mod creator by distributing it to anyone that sees this, so if you just PM me on Reddit, I'll send you the Dropbox for it.
https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Sy3Fy3
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Re: Total Eclipse of the Sun - mAARtell

PostPosted by IamGreen » Tue Mar 21, 2017 16:37

JDSweet wrote:You have inspired me to finally start my own AAR. Check it out if you want to True Dragons: A Song of Fire and Blood (https://citadel.prophpbb.com/post107345.html#p107345).

Very nice! Keep it up!
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Re: Total Eclipse of the Sun - mAARtell

PostPosted by JDSweet » Wed Mar 22, 2017 03:00

So, how often do you plan to pump chapters out?
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Re: Total Eclipse of the Sun - mAARtell

PostPosted by IamGreen » Wed Mar 22, 2017 04:06

JDSweet wrote:So, how often do you plan to pump chapters out?

I'm not sure. Hopefully once every couple of days. I should have chapter 2 out in an hour or so.
How do you find the length and 'style' of it so far? I know it's nothing creative with dialogue and whatnot, it's pretty straightforward. I'm not good at dialogue at all.
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CHAPTER II - A Death in the Family

PostPosted by IamGreen » Wed Mar 22, 2017 04:49

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The first thing Trystane did after the long voyage back home is use his newly acquired wealth to build some small farms on the scarce fertile land of Sunstone. Sunstone shares a similarity with Tyrosh: it too started as a mostly barren, stony isle. Maybe Sunstone will someday flourish as Tyrosh does.

***

Six months ago, Luco, Trystane's emissary, had been sent to attempt to improve relations with a merchant family in Volantis. He had received a raven calling him back to Sunstone. Unsuccessful, he left the city.
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Luco's galley had stopped in Lys before finally returning home. While there, he had seen many starving peasant children. Some suffered from greyscale. Having been in direct contact with the greyscale, he contracted it himself.
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Three weeks later, the ship finally returned to Sunstone, without Luco. Trystane demanded the captain of the small ship tell him where Luco was, and the captain told him he'd been thrown overboard, saying the crew feared the greyscale would spread.
Due to this, the cruel prince had the captain and his crew flogged to death.


***

Now that Trystane's reign in Sunstone was solidified, it was time he took a wife.
Though a prince, Trystane had been denied by most lords. The dowry for the few that did agree was half and some of what Trystane had in his coffers. He gave up the search for noble ladies and looked to his own court for a suitable match.
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He married his young ward, Meralyia, who was ten and two. Trystane would not bed her for another few years.

***

Mero, a man going on 40, had come to Trystane advising him to delegate the position of regent of Sunstone. Should anything happen to Trystane, the person that holds this position would control the realm. Mero petitioned himself to become regent.
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Trystane thought long and hard about the situation, as he should. This was not a decision to be taken lightly. He had considered Vogarro for the position, but decided Mero should have the honour.

***

Trystane's mother, Princess Meria, had declared war on Lord Bors Santagar, to revoke Spottswood. Lord Bors sent a raven requesting help from Trystane and his fearsome band of pirates, a request which he gladly accepted, with no plans to actually commit his men to the war, knowing the war would be lost. He joined the war as it was a great opportunity to pillage the lands of Dorne for its treasures and women. The army of Lord Bors alone was just over 2,000 men, but Princess Meria greatly outnumbered him.
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After days of marching, the armies of Princess Meria finally clashed with Lord Bors, and his much smaller army was unsurprisingly desolated.
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Not long after the battle and Lord Bors' surrender, his sons and wife were imprisoned. His three sons were released and exiled. Saved from a life of imprisonment, Alyn, Ryon, and Cletus were brought to Sunstone by Trystane and Bors' most trusted advisor and friend, Oberyn. Much like Trystane himself, the Santagar's were driven from Dorne by his mother.

Some time after, Trystane got news from Dorne of a ransom. The Santagar brothers begged for Trystane to accept, telling him they'd pay for their fathers ransom using what little wealth they had left.
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Trystane accepted.

***

One day, shortly before a council meeting, Trystane's maester, Leon, approached him with a sullen face, dreadfully telling him that his elder brother, Anders, had suffered a stroke and passed.
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END OF CHAPTER II

***

I know a lot of this seems abrupt and things are randomly happening, and that is because I forgot to screenshot some events and decisions that I should have. I apologise for this, and will try getting more screenshots in the future. I plan on adding more guts to the AAR. But right now I'm just trying to lay down the foundation of the AAR. This is my first time writing fiction of any kind. Thanks for the feedback.

P.S.
Due to the forums size limits, some of the screenshots are cut off half way. I'll try to edit them in a way you can see everything you should.
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Re: Total Eclipse of the Sun - mAARtell

PostPosted by JDSweet » Wed Mar 22, 2017 05:17

IamGreen wrote:
JDSweet wrote:So, how often do you plan to pump chapters out?

I'm not sure. Hopefully once every couple of days. I should have chapter 2 out in an hour or so.
How do you find the length and 'style' of it so far? I know it's nothing creative with dialogue and whatnot, it's pretty straight-forward. I'm not good at dialogue at all.


It seems fine for a first AAR. Dialogue is not a requisite for a good AAR, though it is almost always a plus in my book. I think you make the to-the-point style seem natural, something I have trouble doing (I like to write in-depth narratives). As far as length goes, perhaps you could make your next couple of chapters a little longer.

On an unrelated note, I am trying to get an image hosting platform that is not imgur to work for my AAR. I edited a Targaryen dragon into the top of the AAR to see if it is working and it is not displaying on my phone - can you give it a look over and see if it is working for your browser? (I am avoiding imgur because my school has it blocked and I do most of my writing at school, and my phone is refusing to download the application. I don't know why).
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Re: Total Eclipse of the Sun - mAARtell

PostPosted by IamGreen » Wed Mar 22, 2017 05:37

JDSweet wrote:
IamGreen wrote:
JDSweet wrote:So, how often do you plan to pump chapters out?

I'm not sure. Hopefully once every couple of days. I should have chapter 2 out in an hour or so.
How do you find the length and 'style' of it so far? I know it's nothing creative with dialogue and whatnot, it's pretty straight-forward. I'm not good at dialogue at all.


It seems fine for a first AAR. Dialogue is not a requisite for a good AAR, though it is almost always a plus in my book. I think you make the to-the-point style seem natural, something I have trouble doing (I like to write in-depth narratives). As far as length goes, perhaps you could make your next couple of chapters a little longer.

On an unrelated note, I am trying to get an image hosting platform that is not imgur to work for my AAR. I edited a Targaryen dragon into the top of the AAR to see if it is working and it is not displaying on my phone - can you give it a look over and see if it is working for your browser? (I am avoiding imgur because my school has it blocked and I do most of my writing at school, and my phone is refusing to download the application. I don't know why).

Thanks - I'll see what I can come up with for making them longer.

The picture doesn't show up for me.
Maybe you could try downloading Gyazo and link those pictures to here? It's basically Windows snipping tool, but instead of saving your screenshots to your computer, it uploads them to their website. Pretty nifty tool. All my screenshots are taken with Gyazo, but I save my screenshots to my computer and then upload them to Imgur after, that way I can edit them if I need to.
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Re: Total Eclipse of the Sun - mAARtell

PostPosted by JDSweet » Wed Mar 22, 2017 13:02

IamGreen wrote:
JDSweet wrote:
IamGreen wrote:I'm not sure. Hopefully once every couple of days. I should have chapter 2 out in an hour or so.
How do you find the length and 'style' of it so far? I know it's nothing creative with dialogue and whatnot, it's pretty straight-forward. I'm not good at dialogue at all.


It seems fine for a first AAR. Dialogue is not a requisite for a good AAR, though it is almost always a plus in my book. I think you make the to-the-point style seem natural, something I have trouble doing (I like to write in-depth narratives). As far as length goes, perhaps you could make your next couple of chapters a little longer.

On an unrelated note, I am trying to get an image hosting platform that is not imgur to work for my AAR. I edited a Targaryen dragon into the top of the AAR to see if it is working and it is not displaying on my phone - can you give it a look over and see if it is working for your browser? (I am avoiding imgur because my school has it blocked and I do most of my writing at school, and my phone is refusing to download the application. I don't know why).

Thanks - I'll see what I can come up with for making them longer.

The picture doesn't show up for me.
Maybe you could try downloading Gyazo and link those pictures to here? It's basically Windows snipping tool, but instead of saving your screenshots to your computer, it uploads them to their website. Pretty nifty tool. All my screenshots are taken with Gyazo, but I save my screenshots to my computer and then upload them to Imgur after, that way I can edit them if I need to.


That's the problem - I only have internet access on my laptop once or twice a month. I have to do most everything from my phone or iPad(I live in the middle of nowhere so internet is expensive), and my phone for whatever reason does not download apps correctly over mobile data, so any mobile applications are out of the question.
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Re: Total Eclipse of the Sun - mAARtell

PostPosted by IamGreen » Wed Mar 22, 2017 15:32

That's the problem - I only have internet access on my laptop once or twice a month. I have to do most everything from my phone or iPad(I live in the middle of nowhere so internet is expensive), and my phone for whatever reason does not download apps correctly over mobile data, so any mobile applications are out of the question.

I know TinyPic works with this forum, but I don't know if it works on mobile.
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Re: Total Eclipse of the Sun - mAARtell

PostPosted by JDSweet » Wed Mar 22, 2017 22:07

So, Anders is dead... I just noticed his daughter didn't get the Sandship. I thought the Dornish used complete cognatic succession? Also, you shouldn't take the rejections of major lords too harsh... You can always besiege their castles, raid their villages, force yourself on their women, and abduct their sisters and daughters as slaves and concubines... :D That should show all those who refuse to wed you the consequences of their actions.
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Re: Total Eclipse of the Sun - mAARtell

PostPosted by IamGreen » Thu Mar 23, 2017 02:51

JDSweet wrote:So, Anders is dead... I just noticed his daughter didn't get the Sandship. I thought the Dornish used complete cognatic succession? Also, you shouldn't take the rejections of major lords too harsh... You can always besiege their castles, raid their villages, force yourself on their women, and abduct their sisters and daughters as slaves and concubines... :D That should show all those who refuse to wed you the consequences of their actions.

Oooh. I might make something of that. I'm not sure.
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